The Iraqi Fly That Loved Me (One man's determination)

In 2004 The Mighty Golden Dragons began our tour in Iraq.  Some places we went to were pretty decent and other not so much.  So midway through the deployment we got the word that we would be  sent from Kirkuk down to a place called An Najaf.  We traveled around Iraq a lot during 13 months, so this was just another load up kick the enemies ass and come back to Kirkuk and chill mission.  If my memory serves me correctly, the enemy was fucking shit up down there and there was news footage of insurgents dancing on top of blown up humvee's.  That was a good enough reason for us to go.  So the Chinook Helicopters land at Kirkuk after midnight and we load up all our shit and head to Najaf.  I fell asleep during the ride as most of us did do to sleep deprivation which was very common.  I woke up to the echo's of "1 minute" which meant the Helicopter would be landing in about 1 minute and when it does get the fuck because its leaving regardless.  So the helicopters lands and we all run out the back and hit the prone position and wait for the birds (helicopter) to take off.  Once they started to take off and blow all the sand in Iraq in my face, we all stood up and looked around to see where we were.  I remember adjusting my NVG's (Night Vision Goggles) and looking around and not seeing anything but miles of desert  in one direction.  Another Soldiers who was there a day before seemed to had appeared out of thin air and said, "What company?" ….."Bravo" one of us said.  "Follow me this way,  this place is real shit hole" the Soldier replied.  As we walked for a few minutes and ended up on the other side of a dirt mound, I saw Soldiers laying down on whatever they could find to get sleep.  So we broke out our green cots to try to get some sleep and we did.  The next morning, I was awaken by Soldiers talking and other noises sounding like things being built.  The noise was too loud for me to go back to sleep so I decided to get up and see where I was and what was going on.  I opened my eyes to see hundreds of Soldiers from my battalion everywhere set up in what looked like a damn gypsy camp.  There were miles and miles of flat desert land with minimal fixed structures.  Soldiers had made what ever they could to keep the sun and sand off of them and had decided to wear whatever uniform they thought would make them comfortable.  I decided to walk around to see what the word on the street was and it was the typical story. Higher up is working out the plan and we should be fucking shit up real soon.  I also happen to notice no matter what color God had made you, the desert decided to make you and everything around you sandstorm tan:).  As we waited around for the next bit of guidance Soldiers did whatever they could to make time go by.  Some Soldiers played spades and dominoes, while others just smoked cigars and talked of memories past.  I remember asking if they had showers or shiters (bathrooms).  The makeshift base had no showers and one porta john.  So where does one take a piss or shit?  Here is your answer,  The engineers had came and dug 10x10 foot holes in the ground and that's where you went to take a piss or shit. Just imagine squatting over a 4 foot deep hole with pale asses hanging out everywhere.  Anyway, we tried our hardest to put up the tents and while we were…..  a fucking sandstorm came which made it even more difficult.  But we are Infantryman, we got those damn tents up and packed our dirty asses inside to set up our sleeping arrangements.   Someone came up with the idea to see who the fastest man in the battalion was and we should conduct sprint competitions in the fucking desert sand to see who it was.  So word got around quickly to meet on the side of one of the tents to determine who is was.  If you ever wanted to know who all the Black Guys in the battalion were and how many we had.. we were all at the tent to race and pretty much the only ones competing for this fastest man in the battalion competition:) We had a few white and Spanish dudes competing but you know how that goes:)  We were so bad ass about the race that we did it barefoot and raced each other all day long.  I don't remember who was actually crowned the best but it might have been me:)  Other guys were so bored that we decided to let SGT Jackson stun us with this stun gun he had.  What type of men wait in line to see if they can withstand being stabbed with a stun gun…Infantryman do:)

 So after all the great festivities we created to keep us occupied, I realized that I had not masturbated since we were in Najaf.  I use to keep this portable dvd player everywhere I went.  So if you saw a Soldier walking around with a huge device in his cargo pocket, you knew what he did or what he was getting ready to go do.  My only problem was, I didn't want to jerk off on my bunk for a few reasons. First reason, there is always someone up doing something to distract you.  Second,  if they caught me jerking off they would clown me for the rest of my life.  Not that I gave a shit, but my brothers had a way of getting under you skin for their own amusement. My brother Doc Ham and Fisk had the big FLA truck (a tactical ambulance).  I had a great relationship with them…but not good enough for them to let me jerk off in the FLA.  Shit one of the medics had just hit a prisoner in the head with a stone for trying to wipe his ass with a rock he found in the sand so I knew what the medics would do to me if they caught me.  I remember someone telling me that we had one porta john and the guy came around 1100 to clean it once a day.  As I laid down on my bunk, I had established that I would be jerking off the next morning in that porta john…..lives depended on it.  I woke up the next morning, packed my primary porn dvd and an alternate.  Hey sometimes the dvd skipped and you don't wanna be stuck trying to jerk off in the desert at noon time with a dvd that won't play. Its not like you can walk outta of the porta john and tell the guy that's waiting in line next," Hey man..I was in there rubbing one off and the dvd starting skipping…I'm gonna run back to my tent and get another one..can you wait like 15 minutes." "I sure will brother..take your time..I will hold my shit for you,"…….said no man ever!  So I walked up to the porta john to see about 30 people in line waiting to either shit, jerk off, or just have a moment of peace.  I was tempted to say, "fuck it" and turn around.  But I had come to far to accomplish the mission and I needed this session bad.  The good news is that the porta john dude had came early and cleaned it so it would be  clean and nice on the inside.  It was the longest wait in a line I had ever experienced.  Fuck, I felt my stomach starting to bubble just a tad from the packet of coffee grinds I had eating earlier to wake me up.  It was almost noon and the muthafucking sun was out there real crispy like.  I was starting to sweat a little bit but I was determined to release this load…... if I didn't I would have killed someone over an MRE milkshake deal gone bad.  Finally, its my turn to go into the porta john.  First thing I noticed is that it was hotter in the porta john than it was outside.  Second thing is that all the flies in Iraq had decided to have their annual Who's who of flies convention in that one and only porta john.  Next I lift up the seat to see that the shit had actually piled up to to toilet seat.  However the burning sensation I felt in my intestines and tightening of butt hole muscles didn't give a rats ass about how much shit was in there.  So I dropped my trousers, put my trusty M4 Carbine in the corner and released the solid that turn into liquid solution in the porta  john.  It sounds like the noise the 7 11 Slurpee machine makes when its out of Slurpee.  I had to angle my ass so I shit down the side of this mountain top of turds.  Finally it was done and I had used at least a roll of TP (Toilet Paper) to wipe my ass.  Now its time for the moment I had been waiting for.  I pulled out my DVD Player and I had already had my Porn DVD ready for the abuse I was gonna put it through.  As I turned it on….it was bad news.  I only had about 30% percent power left on it which meant I had to skip the foreplay and go straight to good stuff.  So I started up the stroke and when to work on the cocoa stick…ROFL.   I started to sweat bad like I could die in the porta john..cock in hand.. dvd player with with the dead battery screen on from dehydration.  But I didn't care, It was me against the battery life on the DVD Player and I was determined to finish.  Flies were all over the place, I'm not sure if they were trying to join in or get me to leave.  There was this one fly that was fucking huge.  He was a lot slower than the other ones but  I couldn't kill him because I needed my energy to finish this masturbation punishment that I was putting myself through.  I remember at one point, my sweat mixing with whatever chemicals  I had in my hair and dripping into my eye….and it fucking burned bad… But like I said, I wanted this bad, badder than President Bush wanted Bin Laden.  So I was getting close to finishing and I happen to watch this fly go into the toilet and land on the biggest turd in there.  He hung out on it for a while so I started back the stroke.  As soon as I started back I watched him leave the turd, come out of the toilet and fly around my upper body as if he was looking for a place to land.  Just as I was getting ready to shoot the load…….the bastard landed on my bottom lip….I stopped the stroke….inhaled and blew him off of my lip..and picked up the stroke and finished with 5 % battery life left on the DVD player.  I packed up my shit, grabbed my M4 kicked open the porta john door in slow motion and I swear I heard someone was playing, " Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix.  It looked a scene out of a war movie  where we had just kicked the enemies ass.  The mission was accomplished…. I was weak…..my walk was slow…I carried my M4 like a piece of luggage…My lips were dry… my muscles were week….my cocoa shaft hurt and badly damaged..  I was drenched in sweat as if I had been pissed on…I walked into the tent and fell to my knees like William Defoe did on the cover of the movie, "Platoon".

 I managed to get to my bunk and down a bottle of boiling hot water and pass out..  The Doc said I could have died that day…Had I not came when i did..I would have died ….cock in hand...dvd player with the dead battery screen….pants around my ankles…...with a fly on my lip:)

We gotta do better

Growing up in Adams Morgan in Washington DC was one of the best things that ever happened to me.  It allowed me to be around people of all different races and cultures.  How could I forget the U.S. Army for showing me that brotherhood comes in all Colors.  I remember as a young child, the elders in my family always taught us to be well mannered and respectful kids.  They taught us to do what we felt was right and not what everybody else thought was right.  In school, we learned about people like, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King,  The Kennedys, and just about everybody who wanted to abolish slavery and ensure all people were created equal.  People of all races died to ensure that all people in this country were created equal, especially African Americans.  I’m curious to know what those people would say about where we are as a country and as a race.  And then last week I turned on the TV and saw shit that made me cringe when I saw it and it’s called “Knockout”.  It’s a game where teenagers walk down the street and randomly try to knockout a random person with one punch.  I spent a little bit of time combing the internet looking at videos and articles on the Internet.  It’s no coincident that just about all the kids and teens that are doing this are African American.  And we wonder why people cross to the other side of the streets and clutch their purses out of fear.  Its bullshit like this that feeds that idea and feeling.   All the people that gave their lives to ensure that all people are free and created equal, and to repay them this is the type of shit we do?  When you get a chance pull up a few videos of people protesting back in the day for equal rights.  They were beat to a fucking pulp, bit by dogs, and hosed down with water from fire hydrants….For us to turn around and destroy ourselves and our own communities.  Then we sit and claim that the system ain't set up for to succeed when a motherfucker come over to this country with a pocket full of lent and 5 years later is fucking millionaire….get tha fuck outta here.  We sell drugs to our own people and then turn around and say we ain’t the ones bringing it into the country.  We say the governments trying to destroy our communities with liquor stores and drugs.  Do me a favor and read up on something called, “Supply and Demand”.  We would rather sell dope than get a fucking job at McDonalds.  We will kill a motherfucker that lives two blocks away over a pair of fucking Michael Jordan Shoes.  We would rather be stereotypical shit like Basketball Players and Rappers than be Police Officers, Doctors, and Lawyers.   We would rather listen to and take guidance from a rap video than the school teacher.   And do understand,  I’m not saying all of us are like this.  But what I am saying is, we have come too far and accomplished too much….to still have the same issues in our community and with our youth.  As much as I hate to say…It all starts with parenting.  As parents, we have to teach our children what right looks like.  If we teach our children that it’s ok to have a shit load of kids and be on welfare…than that is exactly what they will do.  However,  if we teach our children that you have to work hard for everything and be a productive person in society…they will.  We are officially out of fucking excuses…The playing field is more leveled than it has ever been.  How about we stop complaining, feeding the stereotypes, and being ungrateful……And make ourselves a part of the solution and not the problem.    We have to parent and raise our children.  It nobody’s job but yours