The Truth About Men

 

The Truth About Men

 

 

I’ve decided to write this blog to give women a good idea of how men function and how we live our lives.  Be mindful that not all men operate this way…..but majority do.  With that being said let get down to it.

 

 

Communication

Men are simple communicators.  We tend to not give a woman a lot of extra shit when we are trying to communicate.  We don’t use a  lot of words, just enough to get our point across and communicate our thoughts.   Men also tend to do a great job of reading which direction the conversation is going in.  If we have an idea that the conversation is going nowhere, we tend to try to say things to fizzle the conversation out so that we don’t waste our time.  However, If we feel the conversation is based off facts and not emotions we tend to listen and talk a lot more.  For the most part, when a woman talks to us we only listen to about the first five seconds of what they have say.  After that we only listen for buzz phrases like,

“I need money for____”

“I’m gonna move your stuff”
“I wont be here_____”
“This relationship is _____”
“_____ Died today”
“____Got hurt today”
“The kids need____”

And any sentence that has anything to do with sex.

 

 

Problem Solving

We problem solve in a manner of, “ Path of least resistance”.  Men see a problem, figure out a solution, and execute.  That whole process can happen within five seconds and is usually done with minimal time and effort.  Sometimes it can be longer depending on the problem but even still, we just wanna get the shit solved and over with.  In a group of men,  whoever has the best idea for solving the problem will be used.  It’s like and unspoken rule of thumb.


Food

Things like steaks, ribs, and  all things beef are a mans favorite.  You also gotta throw a starch and vegetable with just about every meal.  Seafood is great and if we could afford to eat it all day we would.  Also, most men enjoy cooking but just don’t know how.  But one thing we do know how to do is grill out and have a barbecue. 


Peace and Quiet

To a man, peace and quiet are an absolute necessity to our very existence.  To be honest we prefer that more than anything besides sex.  It gives us time to relax and recharge.  Take you and the kids and go find some shit to get into.  All we need is about two hours a week of just alone time and not be bothered by anything.  When we are in the house we don’t like a lot of noise.....period.  Also, the quickest way to piss a man off is to interrupt or deny him of this. 


My Space

Every man needs his own space.  That may come in the form of a, “Man Cave” or it could just simply be on the edge of the couch with his laptop and a glass of rum.  If a man wants you in his space he will invite you, other than that stay the fuck out unless its important.  Don’t force yourself into a mans space.  In fact don’t force anything on a man at all.  We are territorial by nature and will react accordingly.  I would like to force sex upon my wife but that would be rape.  She has to be a willing participant and allow me inside her.  Same thing with a mans space.

 

 

Privacy

Every person on the face of this earth are entitled to privacy.  Just because we are together that doesn’t mean we give it up.  It has nothing to do with hiding information or the typical bullshit women think.  It has everything to do with a man is territorial and likes his space.  Privacy is included with that space.  I don’t know whats in your purse because its yours and most importantly we don’t give a shit.  We expect you to return the courtesy.


Friends

My friends are my friends. You don’t have to like them because they ain't yours.  We look at friendships completely different than women do.  When is the last time you heard a man say, “ I don’t hang out with Dave anymore because he think he’s better that everyone”.  Our Friends are based off of loyalty, reliability, and humor. We have conversations like , "Would you fuck a chick with no legs and bad breath or a chick with no arms laying in bed of old lettuce from Wegmans".  We could spend all day having conversations like this. It may seem stupid to you...but that’s why they are MY friends.

 

 

Protect Our Family

Although we sit in front of the TV in some sort of a trance like state.  We all live by the, "Wish a Motherfucker Would" code of conduct.  What that basically means is that we are ALWAYS prepared to protect our family by any means necessary.  A man doesn’t expect you to do it, he doesn’t even want you to help.  He just wants you to stay out of the way and let him do his job.


Sex

The bottom line is we expect you to be a fucking whore.  There really isn't a nice way of saying it and if you don’t believe me......ask him.  And if you don’t know this already, that means he don’t have the balls to tell you which is even worst.  Any nasty filthy thing you can think of, your man has thought of in some way, shape or form. About 80 percent of how he views you, is based on sex in your relationship.  Also, we don’t like to be turned down for sex at all.  If your on your period or sick we can understand that.  We don’t expect you to do EVERY single thing we bring to the table.  However we do expect you to do 2 out of 3 things and at least consider the 3rd.

 

 

My Stuff

If I have a gun in the drawer....Its not your fucking job to move it.  There is a reason why it was placed in that drawer in a strategic fashion.  Don’t through away or move anything a man owns unless you ASK HIM.  We don’t like to spend hours trying to find some shit that YOU felt needed to be moved or thrown away.  It's bad enough we gotta help you find your own shit that YOU moved.


I don’t wanna talk about it/ Let's talk about it later

If a man says, "I don’t wanna talk it" why in the hell would you try to force him to do otherwise.  The more  you force (Rape) him to do something its just a matter of time before he erupts and then you end up crying and looking simple when all you had to do was give him some space and time to process a few things.  If you don’t remember anything about this blog remember this.......DON'T EVER FORCE YOUR MAN TO DO SOMETHING HE DON’T WANNA DO.

 

 

"I Love You"

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but, We already know you love us.  If anything changes with that, you will be the first person to know. You don’t have to tell us that shit every single day. The more you say it the less it means to us. We love to hear it, but not every day.

 

 

Let a man be a man

Men don’t wanna hear how independent you are and how you don’t need us for shit.  If that’s the case die alone and by yourself.  We love that fact that you’re a strong woman but allow us to do our manly duties and chores.  Don’t take our husband and father duties from us.  When you do that, it takes away our purpose of being in a relationship.

 

 

Last but not Least

Like you and or Love you

When we first met you we liked you.  Once we got to know you that like turned to love.  The trick to success is not only loving you......but liking you as well.  Love keeps you together....but liking each other keeps us happy:)

 

 

Stay Thirsty