How Blacks can bring value to themselves (Based off the Ferguson, Missouri Shooting)

 So let me get this straight.  A white police officer kills a unarmed black male and everybody becomes the judge, jury, and executioner.  The truth of the matter is this, only that police officer knows why he killed that man.  We can speculate and try to calculate what percentage of him was racist but we will truly never know.


Here we go (Be mindful i'm not referring to a race as a whole...just a percentage of them)

We will protest and destroy our own community because we know without a shadow of a doubt that the cop killed this man because he's a racist.  Yet our black males will kill another black male on the next block because your shirt is blue and his is red.  We kill each other over dumb shit like shoes, being what we believe is disrespected, and jealously.  Trust me,  white cops killing black males don't even scratch the surface in comparison to what we do to ourselves.  But somehow someway, thats way more acceptable than if a white man does it.  Let the black dude across the way get shot over a drug turf war and what do we say, "Man its cold out here in these streets mane...Nigga should been up on his game mane...he got caught slippin and thats how the game go".  How about he shouldn't have been selling drugs to begin with.  Let a White man or cop kill a black male and this is what that sounds like, "There is a real epidemic of white males killing young black men.  Our black male is being hunted by white men because of the color of his skin....No Justice...No Peace".  Give me a fucking break, we as african americans have indirectly told society that it is practically normal and acceptable to kill our own but nobody else can kill us.  Another thing that amazes me is that we will riot and burn down our own community.  We burn down the Kroeger's that three generations of your family have used to feed us but won't go down to the middle and upper class neighborhood and burn down the Wegman's or high end grocery store.  Majority of the people rioting out there have not the slightest idea of what the laws are and how the judicial system works.  But guess what, it sounds really good to just keep saying, " We want justice and peace".  You know who knew the laws, judicial system and legitimately  wanted justice and peace....People like Dr. Martin Luther King jr, Medgar Evers, Frederick Douglass, Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Thurgood Marshall, and Ralph Abernathy.  Some of these people not only spent their whole entire lives trying to help and uplift african americans...but lost their lives in the process.  The shit we protest for don't even hold a flame to what they protested for.  They protested for a race...we protest because one black male was killed by a white police officer.  Please do understand this isn't about the specific black male that was killed in Missouri ...its about the black male being killed by white men in general.  I heard someone on the news say the local police department in Ferguson was five percent black but the population of city as a whole was 67% black.  The reporter couldn't seem to figure that out....Well let me tell you why that is.  Majority of the blacks in Ferguson just don't wanna be police officers.  Shit...majority of blacks and low income people as a whole are taught that being a police officer is the worst thing ever.  Maybe the blacks that become police officers in Ferguson take their credentials to other departments that offer better pay and benefits.  Did it ever occur to ask what the percentage of their police force are women?  I bet money its less than blacks.  I ask every black parent...who's raising your children?  You know how many times I've heard kids say, "I aint have no father or love at home but the streets and gangs showed me love".  That my friend is a fail in the black community.  We tell our black children that the only way to be successful is to rap, play football or basketball and last but not least sell drugs.  Our black kids don't find role models in doctors, lawyers, policeman, and business owners.  We let movies, television shows, rap artist, and everyone but the parent tell us what we should aspire to be.  We live in a society where its more acceptable to be a dope dealer than it is to be a social worker or community activist.  We'll upload a video of us fighting ourselves but not of us building each other up.  I heard a song the other day on the radio called, "Young nigga move that dope".  I say again..."YOUNG NIGGA MOVE THAT DOPE".  You think this song is about moving books and being productive in society.......well its not.  Do understand that I truly believe that music as a whole is just a form of artistry like movies are.  The truth of the matter is there is absolutely nothing wrong with movies or music that glorify criminal activity.  The fact that your child looks at it as something to emulate and aspire to be is the real problem.  Trust me, I listen to a variety of music but I'm not listening to it to tell me how I should live my life.  You wanna have a good idea of how to live a good life pick up the bible or an autobiography about Colin Powell or Condeleeza Rice.  Oh no wait..their not really black..they are very well educated and mostly surrounded by whites...nah that shits boring..  However the book about Karrine Stephens aka SuperHead sucking and fucking her way to the top is a far better read.  How about we tell our little black children the importance of education, helping others not just our own race, being productive in society, and getting to know the other people and places in this world.  How about our black parents should start being role models to their kids and not letting it be movies and music.  How about we teach our children that they don't have to follow someone else's path...that they can make their own path and feel free to be who they are.  How about we teach our little girls that whats between their legs is special and not to be used to feel wanted and loved.  How about we teach our little boys that when they become fathers to raise they motherfucking kids and take care of their family.  How about our black women need to stop putting down the black man.  The black man needs to stop treating the black woman as if she is anything but a child of God.  How about you turn on the discovery or history channel for our kids instead of have them twearking on the dining room floor.  Don't teach your kids the right way to talk to police officers, teach them how to talk and interact with every one   Lets teach them that love has no color and they should be with who treats them right.  And last but not least...how about we hug and tell our beautiful black children that they are loved.  As human beings in general,  never turn down the opportunity to help someone better themselves regardless of race.  If you own a business don't hire based off of race...higher the best qualified person for the job.  Yea, I'll hook a brother up...but before that..I'll hook up who deserves and worked the hardest regardless of race.  Black people....blaming race for everything that goes wrong is starting to get old and is very counterproductive.  Not every white person hates black people and is holding us down.  In the same breath when you talk racism, why do we always think white against black.  Us blacks are racist towards whites and even towards other blacks.  Shit man...Hispanics are the new civil right era blacks.  The difference is they stick together.  Not us..we look at a well educated black person like they a white person.  But Hispanics..... Instead of giving money to Nike,  they send that shit back across the border to make sure they family eating right and have a better life.  They protest and make shit happen...we protest and fuck our own shit up.  How can we expect other races to value us when we don't value ourselves.  When we treat ourselves with respect so will other races.  To date....the african american has held ever major job title in the United States....way more the the white or black women.  What you as a parent instill is your child at birth and a young age is crucial to how they perceive and WILL BE perceived by the world.  At the end of the day I'm doing my part.. not by going back to the community and helping, which I do, but more importantly raising my own kids, teaching them values, to love one another, be productive in society, and giving them all the love and knowledge their little brains can absorb. Although my kids are mixed with black and white, society will view them as of color which is black. I don't give a shit what you say or what you think...for their own good they will be taught to surpass color and that your character is more important.  They will have the tools to live as what ever race they decide to claim if any.    One thing about me.. I call a spade a spade.  My blogs are pure, honest and although the truth hurts some...it empowers others.  There will always be racism in this country, at least while I'm alive.  There will always be whites that side with their race and there will always be blacks who side with their own race....just because of that...race.  Races will always support their own regardless of what happens.  Its just how life is but at least its not like that for the majority of this country.  That in itself is progress.  I know blacks that support the President just because of his race...but I also know whites that hate him because of it.  He said it himself in an interview and nobody gave two shits that he said it.  Why, because its the truth. Its that elephant in the room:)  Every day I wake up and look in the mirror and know exactly who I am.... A young african american...  more important than that......................................I'm an American.  People of all races and genders have fought here and in other countries just for us to be called that.

That is all

The Truth About Men

 

The Truth About Men

 

 

I’ve decided to write this blog to give women a good idea of how men function and how we live our lives.  Be mindful that not all men operate this way…..but majority do.  With that being said let get down to it.

 

 

Communication

Men are simple communicators.  We tend to not give a woman a lot of extra shit when we are trying to communicate.  We don’t use a  lot of words, just enough to get our point across and communicate our thoughts.   Men also tend to do a great job of reading which direction the conversation is going in.  If we have an idea that the conversation is going nowhere, we tend to try to say things to fizzle the conversation out so that we don’t waste our time.  However, If we feel the conversation is based off facts and not emotions we tend to listen and talk a lot more.  For the most part, when a woman talks to us we only listen to about the first five seconds of what they have say.  After that we only listen for buzz phrases like,

“I need money for____”

“I’m gonna move your stuff”
“I wont be here_____”
“This relationship is _____”
“_____ Died today”
“____Got hurt today”
“The kids need____”

And any sentence that has anything to do with sex.

 

 

Problem Solving

We problem solve in a manner of, “ Path of least resistance”.  Men see a problem, figure out a solution, and execute.  That whole process can happen within five seconds and is usually done with minimal time and effort.  Sometimes it can be longer depending on the problem but even still, we just wanna get the shit solved and over with.  In a group of men,  whoever has the best idea for solving the problem will be used.  It’s like and unspoken rule of thumb.


Food

Things like steaks, ribs, and  all things beef are a mans favorite.  You also gotta throw a starch and vegetable with just about every meal.  Seafood is great and if we could afford to eat it all day we would.  Also, most men enjoy cooking but just don’t know how.  But one thing we do know how to do is grill out and have a barbecue. 


Peace and Quiet

To a man, peace and quiet are an absolute necessity to our very existence.  To be honest we prefer that more than anything besides sex.  It gives us time to relax and recharge.  Take you and the kids and go find some shit to get into.  All we need is about two hours a week of just alone time and not be bothered by anything.  When we are in the house we don’t like a lot of noise.....period.  Also, the quickest way to piss a man off is to interrupt or deny him of this. 


My Space

Every man needs his own space.  That may come in the form of a, “Man Cave” or it could just simply be on the edge of the couch with his laptop and a glass of rum.  If a man wants you in his space he will invite you, other than that stay the fuck out unless its important.  Don’t force yourself into a mans space.  In fact don’t force anything on a man at all.  We are territorial by nature and will react accordingly.  I would like to force sex upon my wife but that would be rape.  She has to be a willing participant and allow me inside her.  Same thing with a mans space.

 

 

Privacy

Every person on the face of this earth are entitled to privacy.  Just because we are together that doesn’t mean we give it up.  It has nothing to do with hiding information or the typical bullshit women think.  It has everything to do with a man is territorial and likes his space.  Privacy is included with that space.  I don’t know whats in your purse because its yours and most importantly we don’t give a shit.  We expect you to return the courtesy.


Friends

My friends are my friends. You don’t have to like them because they ain't yours.  We look at friendships completely different than women do.  When is the last time you heard a man say, “ I don’t hang out with Dave anymore because he think he’s better that everyone”.  Our Friends are based off of loyalty, reliability, and humor. We have conversations like , "Would you fuck a chick with no legs and bad breath or a chick with no arms laying in bed of old lettuce from Wegmans".  We could spend all day having conversations like this. It may seem stupid to you...but that’s why they are MY friends.

 

 

Protect Our Family

Although we sit in front of the TV in some sort of a trance like state.  We all live by the, "Wish a Motherfucker Would" code of conduct.  What that basically means is that we are ALWAYS prepared to protect our family by any means necessary.  A man doesn’t expect you to do it, he doesn’t even want you to help.  He just wants you to stay out of the way and let him do his job.


Sex

The bottom line is we expect you to be a fucking whore.  There really isn't a nice way of saying it and if you don’t believe me......ask him.  And if you don’t know this already, that means he don’t have the balls to tell you which is even worst.  Any nasty filthy thing you can think of, your man has thought of in some way, shape or form. About 80 percent of how he views you, is based on sex in your relationship.  Also, we don’t like to be turned down for sex at all.  If your on your period or sick we can understand that.  We don’t expect you to do EVERY single thing we bring to the table.  However we do expect you to do 2 out of 3 things and at least consider the 3rd.

 

 

My Stuff

If I have a gun in the drawer....Its not your fucking job to move it.  There is a reason why it was placed in that drawer in a strategic fashion.  Don’t through away or move anything a man owns unless you ASK HIM.  We don’t like to spend hours trying to find some shit that YOU felt needed to be moved or thrown away.  It's bad enough we gotta help you find your own shit that YOU moved.


I don’t wanna talk about it/ Let's talk about it later

If a man says, "I don’t wanna talk it" why in the hell would you try to force him to do otherwise.  The more  you force (Rape) him to do something its just a matter of time before he erupts and then you end up crying and looking simple when all you had to do was give him some space and time to process a few things.  If you don’t remember anything about this blog remember this.......DON'T EVER FORCE YOUR MAN TO DO SOMETHING HE DON’T WANNA DO.

 

 

"I Love You"

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but, We already know you love us.  If anything changes with that, you will be the first person to know. You don’t have to tell us that shit every single day. The more you say it the less it means to us. We love to hear it, but not every day.

 

 

Let a man be a man

Men don’t wanna hear how independent you are and how you don’t need us for shit.  If that’s the case die alone and by yourself.  We love that fact that you’re a strong woman but allow us to do our manly duties and chores.  Don’t take our husband and father duties from us.  When you do that, it takes away our purpose of being in a relationship.

 

 

Last but not Least

Like you and or Love you

When we first met you we liked you.  Once we got to know you that like turned to love.  The trick to success is not only loving you......but liking you as well.  Love keeps you together....but liking each other keeps us happy:)

 

 

Stay Thirsty

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A one on one conversation with darkness (PTSD)

First and foremost allow me to formally introduce myself.  My name is Darkness (PTSD) and I’ve been living with you for some time now.  I gave you the anger and pain you needed to survive and make it out of there alive.  Now I’m here to collect and brother I'll take any form of payment.  Here is a list of types of payments I will take, your happiness, your family, piece of mind, job, and any other things that make you happy.  However, what I really really want……is your life...…but we will work that out some other time.  You see,  I want to take everything and everyone from you.  I don’t want you to be happy, I just want it to be me and you together.  I want us to be alone just so  I can press the play button and replay every bad thing you saw or ever did in War.  Shit man,  I’m greedy…..I will even throw in some other horrible shit that happen to you before and after war.  Don’t get better and seek help because nothing is wrong with you.  Everybody around you are the ones that are fucked up.  Well wait a minute….I lied.  I will allow and encourage someone else to be a part of our team.  And brother you can pick which ever addiction you like to be the third person.  Because remember…….nobody else likes you but me.  You aint shit, your worthless, and don’t deserve any happiness AT ALL!  People close to you smile in your face and tell you nothing but bullshit.  They don’t really like you and never did.  Even the people in your own home hate your very exsistance.  And don’t get me started on that mask you wear.  Fuck you and the piece of shit mask you wear.  What are you a pussy…..You afraid to show people the real you?  You scared to tell people the truth?  The truth about what you did and how you put lives at risk?  Remember brother I know the truth.....…not all of them were justifiable…......but its your lie brother you can tell it however you want to.  Everything you have….you don’t deserve it.  Everything you get….will never be enough.  I will never allow you to be happy or others around you.  And your medication……you don’t need it.  Warriors don’t need a crutch and never will.  You seeking help and trying to better yourself means your weak.  Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?  War has aged you brother.  The child has grown…...the dream has gone…...…you have become comfortably numb.  Lets just cash out while we can and be by ourselves.  I’ve got so many things planned for us and it starts with guilt, anger, and depression.  No matter how much help you get from the doctors it will never be like it was brother.  No matter how reseelient you are…….It will never be like it was.  Just give up and let me take charge.  I promise it will be easy for you.  Remember...you almost gave me the jackpot on that bottom bunk that night..And you should have.  So with that being said, what do you say brother?

Do me a favor.....Go in the kitchen....find the biggest knife in there....bring it back......and let's cut out the bullshit!

I don’t know if you know me as well as you think you do.  I'm kinda like a big deal around this Maafucka.  First off, I will never ever let you ruin and destroy my life.  I've worked too hard to get where I am for your "poor me" depressed ass to take it away from me.  All that dark shit is for the birds...I'm like a King in my own mind brother.  I will continue to better and surround myself with nothing but Love, Laughter, and Life.  No person will ever come between that...ever.  I will never hurt you the way you hurt me because we're the same person.  And your right..things will never be the same..but they WILL continue to get better.  I'm stronger and more resilient now than I've ever been my whole entire life.  Everything that happen to me it what ultimately made me who I am today...And I love myself.  You can bring up all the horrors from my past but guess what....they will NEVER consume me or my future.  You will poke your head out on occasion...but I'm in charge around this maafucka. Everything you described to try to bring me done is what makes up that spring in my step...I'm above it.  We will continue to co-exist and get to know each other...but it's on my terms and  my rules.  You will trip me up on occasion and if I can't make it back to my feet, the people I have surrounded myself with will help me.  I got more close air support, QRF, and Support by Fires than you could ever imagine. I'm the one holding YOU hostage and I make the decisions.  I know I haven’t made all the right decisions....but guess what....At least I fucking made a decision. I will continue to take medication and see doctors....Because I owe to not only myself but my family, brothers, and to my Army.  No matter what you throw at me,  I will hit that shit like Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nun chucks.....Like a Boss.  So the answer to your question is not no....but fuck no.  Take your darkness ass back to wherever you came from and don’t call me...I'll call you.

Un-Masked ( Now you know)

Its been about 3 days without medication and I'm feeling some type of way.  Tonight I will take my mask off and lay it beside me insuring that its in arms reach.  See,  everyday I wake up I have to put on a mask.  The purpose of this mask is to hide the horrors of what war has done to me.  The weight of the mask in the beginning of the day is easy, but as the day goes on the weight starts to take its course.  To be honest,  life without the mask would be miserable for me and everyone around me.  Although I'm happy with my life and what I have become,  Its still doesn't change what has happened to me.  You see,  I've never really processed the war and all things that happened during my deployment.  Although the Army encourages me to do so, it will have a negative affect on my career and reputation if I did.  The medication helps me out a great deal but as I said before, It doesn't change what happened.  And as much as I would love to write about the horrors of my deployment, I could never do so.  There were 30 other men in my platoon, and I would need all of their blessings to tell OUR STORY and the timing isn't right for that yet.  So....I will tell my story.  I live my life under paranoia and avoiding anything that could possible cause my mask to come off any where that wouldn't be safe.  Everywhere I go,  I'm constantly coming up with contingency plans just in case something happens.  That in itself is very draining mentally which turns into being exhausted overall.  I'm afraid of the dark not because of the boogieman, but because the enemy tends to lurk in darkness.  My emotions are fucked...I'm either on the verge of crying over something that happened during war, or emotionally detaching myself from whatever has the potential to make me vulnerable.  And I'm not even gonna get on the shit that goes through my head...I'd be in a mental institution if I did.  Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again and could sit on my my mothers lap and her tell me everything was gonna be ok.  The closet I've gotten to talking about my life is getting it tattooed on my skin.  Every single tattoo of mine has a story that I might be able to tell you without tearing up.  The only pure things in my life are my kids, Pink Floyd, and the 7 hours of sleep I get every night.  Despite what I've been through during war almost 9 years ago,  The show must go on back here in my life.  Instead of waking up every morning putting on my gear and going outside the wire.....I wake up everyday, put on my mask, and go outside my door to face the world.  Walk outside without either of those whether in war or stateside and your or other peoples chances of dying are extremely high.  Also if you haven't noticed I walk with a spring in my step, slight arrogance and a sprinkle of cockiness because that's the Infantryman in me.  However, in the same breath people who know me truly understand that I have a heart full of gratitude, loyalty, and compassion and give more to people than receive.  Yea I blow my money on cars, motorcycles, tattoos and other dumb shit but I deserve it.  I promised myself that If I came made it back alive from my deployment....I would live every single day to the fullest.  Most importantly... I would live for my brothers who are no longer here.  Some of them lost their lives in war....and some took their own lives back here because of the pain from life and war.   And these Soldiers aren't people I knew of in passing or heard about..   These are brother that I personally knew, broke bread with, and drank with.  No matter how dark my world can get.....I still have life and THAT I will never take for granted.  I'm not waiting to retire to live my life and have fun....I started the day I left the Battlefield.  And I know everyday won't be great and perfect,  but I will never ever forget how bad we had it or how bad it could be.

LIVE LOVE AND LAUGH A LITTLE


Too my brothers gone but never forgotten

Corrigan
Thibodeaux
Raymond
Gibson
Daggett
Castellano
Rodriguez

The Mighty 1st Platoon Vipers