Most people who truly know me know that I'm a huge Pink Floyd fan. Allow me to take this opportunity to tell you how it came to be. When I got to my duty station 12 years ago in Hawaii, my first roommate was a guy named Johnson. We had our fair share of partying and got into more shit than you could ever imagine. Johnson and I were conjoined at the hip. One of our favorite things to do would be to blast music and get shit faced. Johnson loved music just as much as I did and til this this day the only white guy that can dance his ass off. He introduced me to music artist such as, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Rage Against the Machine, and Hank Williams Jr. I remember us drunk as hell in the barracks singing, "Family Tradition" with our hands around each other as if we were singing a duet. One day he played a song named, "Money" by Pink Floyd. I must admit that the song was very catchy but was a bit weird with all the extra background effects in the song. He played more songs by Floyd but the music fell on deaf ears. I simply couldn't relate to it and none of it made any sense. As years would progress, I would play that exact song on occasion but when never venture into any of their other music. Fast forward to the year 2004 when my life as well as many young men changed as we were sent into the pits of hell. Not to fight for our country, but to fight for the men to our left and right to make it home. I wont go too far into how that deployment was, I will just say it was interesting. When we finally came back to Hawaii, I made a choice that it was time for me to leave active duty and return to Washington DC. I struggled mentally and emotionally to find myself in this brave new world. Even though I had been here before, I just felt as if I didn't fit in and belong. I couldn't make sense of anything that happen to me nor who I was as a person. I didn't see that young boy with that happy smile. The person on the other side of the mirror had a different look in his eyes. (Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky) Song: Shine on you crazy diamond. I didn't know him, but I knew him if that makes any sense. As I struggled to make sense of everything, I realized that I had fears such as being in crowds, loud noised, certain places, or anything that would remind me of that place. One thing that I noticed is that I had a fear of darkness. That world showed us that bad things happen, but they mostly happened at night. (Threatened by Shadows at night, Exposed in the) Song: Shine on you crazy diamond. Many a night I would hear the smallest noise while I slept and would lock and load my handgun and search for an enemy that wasn't in my house, just in my head. There are lists of other things that I did during this difficult part of my life out of fear but, I won't be sharing those for criminal reasons. One of the things I would always do is look at old pictures of me when I was a child and my first few years in the army. (Remember when you were young, You shone like the son) Song: Shine on you crazy diamond. It would always make me happy and would sometimes get me out of a dark place. My dark place was interesting, but for the most part I did a good job of hiding it from others. I knew something was wrong with me when my brain would venture back and fourth between that world and here. (Nobody knows where you are, how near or how far) Song: Shine on you Crazy Diamond. One day, a friend of mine at work overheard me listening to the song, "Money" and decided to make me a Floyd mix tape. To be honest with you, I had no plans on even listening to the cd. On the way home from work one day after I ran through all the music I had in my car, I decided to listen to the cd. As I popped the cd in, I told myself that what ever came on I would listen to it all the way through. The voice in the speakers went through my ears straight to my brain and soul. He said, " (Hello, is there anybody in there. Nod if you can here me. Is there anyone at home) Song: Comfortably Numb. That was the first time I was ready to start piecing together the puzzle, and I knew who would be helping me along the way. After listening to that song you couldn't pay me to not have Pink Floyd in my car. The more their music spoke to me, the more the puzzle came together. When the puzzle came together, so did the tattoo's. Just about all of them are Pink Floyd album covers, lyrics, or screenshots. I figure its the least I could do to thank them but at the same time use it as a form to express who I am and how I felt. I remember a few years ago when I had my first idea for a Pink Floyd tattoo. Most artist looked at me if i was crazy and wouldn't take the chance on doing it. But one artist name Dave, took that chance with it and didn't judge me. I honestly think he was more excited to do it than I was. When he was finally done and I looked at it, another piece was added to the puzzle. We enjoyed working with each other so much that I got 10 more over the next few years including a sleeve from my knee to my ankle. Each of my tattoo's has a story about something related to that world and I thank Dave for turning those pieces of paper into amazing tattoo's. In closing, I will say that most of you have been through something in you life and made it through it or can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel. This, is just the story about mine. Although I have found a lot of pieces to my puzzle, I will never find them all. That world that I left will always have a few of them just to remind me that it existed. But at least now I have enough pieces to make out what the puzzle is.
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy
beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
everyone you meet
All that you slight
everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
Song: Eclipse
This is dedicated to my brothers no longer with us and the ones who are fighting the battle inside them...I say to you...be strong for one day you will Shine On You Crazy Diamond.......
Wow that was amazing! Thank u for sharing : ) summertime
ReplyDeleteThat's deep brother, Thanks. I look forward to the "next" one.
ReplyDeleteSo you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.